The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (January 27-February 2)

The ladies of Twitter always brighten our day with their brilliant and concise wit. Even though the platform has been renamed X, their humor lives on.

Every week, Talk News Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, then visit our β€œFunniest Tweets From Women” page to see previous roundups.

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there’s nothing stronger than the bond between a girl and the 100+ episode procedural drama she starts rewatching in the midst of a mental health crisis

β€” lucy ford 🍊 (@lucyj_ford) January 28, 2024

Say "called" that’s ridiculous

β€” tara (@proletarat) January 28, 2024

something this week will cost $40. even if you have no plans and don’t need anything, you will spend $40 this week, because something will definitely cost $40. for the rest of your life until you die. $40

β€” Borey (@GoToBedRory) January 29, 2024

accidentally signed an important email with "all vests"

β€” keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) January 31, 2024

I’m 1 day pregnant: oh my, the baby wants to holiday in the south of France

β€” chel (@kingchelsay) January 30, 2024

sow: I like going to the bookstore to buy some books πŸ™‚ reap: moving apartments as someone who has a lot of books

β€” anna livia (@not_a_heather) January 31, 2024

Why do people complain that January is long, can you just relax? Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else! No other!!!

β€” mani (@ImaniShante) January 30, 2024

Sorry, but the divorce story isn’t specific enough. If I see 3 slideshows of your wedding shoes, I want the details. How long did he let the pan sit "wet".

β€” sarah radz (@sarahradz_) January 31, 2024

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself, I’m not listening either

β€” Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) January 29, 2024

Am I actively dating? No. Do I expect to be proposed by the end of the year? Very.

β€” Fupita Nyong’o 🌚 (@dvngerousliy) January 29, 2024

hey, do you want to come and google something

β€” chase (@_chase_____) February 1, 2024

It’s not Sunday unless you really waste it and then feel really sad around 8pm

β€” Noor ✭ (@Noorthevirgo) January 28, 2024

above all, I worry that I may have an unethical dentist

β€” steph mccann (@steph_mcca) January 30, 2024

bro, they kicked me out of the Bible Study group πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

β€” naomi (@ilovenaomiiii) January 31, 2024

β€œwhat would you do with an MFA in creative writing?” ummm I’m going to write a painful poem about how I looked at LinkedIn all night & the screen went blurry & I didn’t realize I was crying until I couldn’t read the job description because I wasn’t on LinkedIn until my body was in pain

β€” Meg (@megannn_lynne) January 31, 2024

oh you’re a lovely person? Name 3 people who are happy with you

β€” abrish (@cxrnerrstone) February 1, 2024

shaving the beard into a mustache gives men bangs

β€” stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) January 31, 2024

so there’s this base. and I want to include you in it

β€” summer β™‘ (@summerahrens) January 28, 2024

no, no, you don’t want to know me, I’m better as a concept

β€” clare (@sadderlizards) January 29, 2024

white people like to say β€œoh that’s dangerous” on a bag of chips. haha just eat Doritos man

β€” maha (@mahaaaay) January 28, 2024

I think the concept of a courtroom sketch artist is really funny. here’s our little murder streak

β€” trash jones (@jzux) January 29, 2024

the airport should have a few side missions available for people stuck on layovers

β€” optimusprime (@earth_to_annaa) January 29, 2024

My friend crashed into a Stanley this morning by accident..dare I call it a Flat Stanley

β€” bail (@baytato) January 30, 2024

I didn’t understand how important it was to see yourself represented in the media until I read a bad review of a famous book that I also hated.

β€” katie kadue (@kukukadoo) January 29, 2024

"I’ll wake up early and do it"

β€” Jenni (@hashjenni) January 28, 2024

I’m waiting for the gynecologist after they told me to undress from the waist down 20 minutes ago

β€” S.LIZ (@slizagna) January 30, 2024

I can never get mail in a box because every movie I watch is good for me. this is a film, there is nothing more beautiful than that. I know the guy from something else. pleasant!

β€” acne swamp baby (@castinemachine) January 30, 2024

β€” annet donahue (@annetdonahue) January 30, 2024

holding alt girl’s hair back while she gags and it’s like. Oh okay let me get all the layers. and the edges are overgrown with these plants. oh and the uneven front

β€” roro, PhD (@fuglibetty) January 31, 2024

noooo…I don’t want to work

β€” InvisπŸ§œβ™€οΈ (@invis4yo) January 31, 2024

two minutes walk: the weather is very pleasant today.. The birds are singing, the sun is shining… nature beckons and I answer the call three minutes walk: there are things that have been done to me that can never be undone

β€” rayne fisher-quann (@raynefq) January 31, 2024

imagine building generational wealth and you come back and it’s all gone

β€” kira πŸ‘Ύ (@kirawontmiss) January 29, 2024

There are 24 hours in a day, unless you have ADHD, in which case you have 37 hours or 30 minutes.

β€” Melissa Stewart (@LissaJoStewart) January 29, 2024

(The angriest I’ve ever been in my life): sure, it worked!

β€” inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) February 1, 2024

Please don’t force me to choose pick up or delivery to see your online menu, I just need to practice my drive-thru order

β€” meghan (@deloisivete) January 27, 2024

I’m so excited looking at the Taco Bell menu

β€” Caitie (@hammlittle) January 27, 2024

does anyone know how much money we should have

β€” emily pengvvins (@pengvvins) February 1, 2024Related…65b81b242400001c0027feabThe Funniest Wedding Tweets To Get You Through The Week65b42a2c2300001f0080785925 Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week65b346432200001b00fb0ab1The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

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