Ever since we saw the star-studded first trailer for Matthew Vaughn’s mysterious spy film Argylle last year, we’ve had a lot of questions about it. Questions like, “what exactly is going on here?”, “is this real?” and “no, really, is this real?”.
Well, after months of teasing, critics have now shared their first reviews for Argylle, which features an all-star cast including Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, and Bryan Cranston.
And guys, that’s not good. So “not good,” that words like “lazy,” “unbearable,” “bad,” and “insulting” were frequently thrown around in early reviews.
Here are some critics’ thoughts on Argylle so far…
“A new low… the Kingsman franchise filmmaker indulges in his murderous penchant for empty CGI spectacle, disappointing top-notch casts and a plot so lazy, derivative and nonsensical that it seems to exist only as a meta joke about the fun of being intentionally bad , and how difficult it is for cowards.”
“The rectangular screen itself appears to warp and contort into a huge self-satisfied grin for this irresistibly cocky caper from director Matthew Vaughn. (Argylle) is thin, weak, burdened with a tedious meta-narrative and dodgy acting, and boasts a hollow parade of cameos from the supporting cast.
“The action is slapstick, but the scenes are so obviously fake – with fourth-grade CGI and digital doubles strewn about the place like haunted dolls – that it comes across as insulting, rather than outrageous.”
“This narrative route (with all its excessive twists and turns inspired by other established ghost stories) is a waste of his talent and that of a top-notch cast. What a disappointment.”Director Matthew Vaughn with the star of the film… a very cute cat
“There is indeed a secret behind the repetition of other films involving spy vs spy shenanigans, international intrigue and triple crossovers (…) the spoiler is: Argylle is. century films. A very, very bad film.”
“What looks like diamonds but on closer inspection turns out to be just a bunch of cheap polyester? Why, argyle, of course – a neat pattern found on socks and sweaters, and an apt name for Matthew Vaughn’s latest kooky spy hat.”
“All of (Matthew Vaughn’s) tricks are involved, including hyper-kinetic editing and unusual soundtrack choices, so if you’re not normally a fan, there’s nothing that’s going to change that.
“Along with the twist, set pieces are deployed regularly to maintain attention. While the film was first released in theaters, it would likely fare better if it were streamed on Apple TV+ as a diverting Friday night watch.
“But if Argylle sticks to its fun meta spin on the spy genre and maintains its own identity, then it could be a lot better.”
“The other action, romance, and comedy films that have been dumped on streaming services over the past few years have all been obscure, anonymous blocks of content, but at least the others offer something somewhat glamorous. to slump in front of your living room when you can’t choose another more nutritious show.
“Argylle, on the other hand, was released in theaters, so the bad and derivative nature of this company is harder to forgive.”
“Unfortunately, too much of it, especially the last half hour of this over two-hour action film, is a waste of time to see what sticks.”
“It serves as entertaining escapism, but not much more so considering the way it’s made. Suggestions that this could be a new take on the spy film proved unfulfilled when Argylle had the potential to do better.”Bryce Dallas Howard plays Elly Conway in Argylle
“Argylle boasts a stellar cast and a sensational premise that straddles the fine line between fiction and what is not. But the film disappoints in failing to achieve most of its triumphs and piling on the double-crossing and triple-crossing and other traits of a tailor-made espionage world.”
“Argylle ends with another triumph that a more serious film could never do, but the thin, overly far-fetched stuff leading up to it is so determined to justify its own absurdity that it doesn’t quite leave us. a chance to enjoy it.”
“(Bryce Dallas) Howard and (Sam) Rockwell make a great pair with genuine chemistry and great comic timing; the changing nature of their relationship as the storyline passes through various meta layers is especially touching.”
“Despite some tongue-in-cheek cynicism, spotty CGI, and a number of aggressive celebrity cameos (including a Barbie reunion of Dua Lipa and John Cena), Argylle abandons its own snake pit narrative and appears relatively unscathed.”
Argylle opens in UK cinemas on Friday 2 February. Watch the trailer below: